one day at a time

encouragement.

just watch.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=3Ugpncf0bM8

i want my children to

serve. i want to bring them up in a household that absolutely loves serving others. i only fear that it will make them push away from it when they are older. hopefully it won’t if they see that both their father and i love serving. (that’s a must: husband must love to serve) anyways, lead by example, right? 

i forgot to post

about the three things that i was thankful for yesterday… so i’ll just post them now! 

1. health! the fact that i have the ability to wake up at 5am to work out is really a blessing. i take walking, being able to cycle, sweating, and not being sick for granted. daily.

2. friends! this is a no brainer but i fail to tell my friends how much they really mean to me. last night three of my roomies piled in my bed to watch breakfast at tiffany’s with me & just talk about life. i love those girls. i’m so lucky to be surrounded by them all the time & to live where i do in the conditions that i do. 

3. ken. that’s right. i’m thankful for my landlord. even though he can be like an overprotective father who doesn’t know when to leave, he’s also obviously caring for us and wants to help out in any way that he can and we are lucky for that. so lucky. he’s a sweet man. 

there are so many

things to be grateful for and yet most of our prayers consist of asking for things. at least mine do. this realization has been hitting me hard and stirring inside of me for the past week. so, for a week it is going to be my goal to not ask for anything from Abba but to just give praise where it is due and to tell him all that i am thankful for. 

i will try my hardest to post at least three things a day that i take for granted but am beyond thankful for. 

1. colored vision. especially on a day like today when the sky is so vibrant and the flowers are in bloom. i often forget to say thank you for being able to notice that the sky is absolutely gorgeous. (btw it still blows me away that the same God that made the ginormous sky made little ole me too.)

2. bumble bees. a lot of times they seem to be a nuisance because they have the potential to hurt you and they always seem to follow you when you run from them but over the past few days i have come to enjoy them quite a bit. i sit on my front porch daily to read and escape the noise of life. sometimes i end up just watching and listening to them. they are funny little creatures, those bees. and they sure do make beautiful noises. summer time is a comin’ my friends.  

3. sunshine. oh lord, do i love the sun shine and warmth. vitamin D. mmmm…sunshine. i’m so glad we don’t live in a dark world. so so so glad. how depressing would that be?!

man, i have so much to be thankful for. 

(March 20, 2012)

i usually try to

stay away from posting about politics (even though it intrigues me) but this new bill being proposed by senator campfield just may be brilliant. it’s weird for me to use such strong language in the same sentence as this man’s name because he has a LOT of dumb ideas that he is trying to push through the system right now (such as taking away TANF from poorly performing children in school) but this bill… it’s actually a little funny! and it would be SO beneficial to people like me! 

here’s the idea (taken from senator campfield’s blog):

Yes, Rep. Joe Carr and I are going to try to pass the the “Porn not corn” tax swap bill this year. What the bill does is increase the tax on hard core pornography, escort services, strip clubs and other such products and the resulting income will be dedicated to lowering the tax on groceries. It is not a true tax increase in that it is revenue neutral for the state.
The fiscal study says the tax swap will generate $55,000,000.00 in TN in the first year alone and the income generated would be dedicated to lowering the tax on food by up to triple (or even possibly more) the amount the governor has proposed in the next year.

sounds good, right? maybe people will be less tempted to buy that poison! i sure hope so! 

i do believe

that god carried me through that season. heck, i’m still being carried. if i’m being honest, it’s still a daily struggle. there were nights where i would lay in bed just (literally) crying out & asking Him to hold me and to give my mind and heart peace. there were numerous nights when i asked him to craddle me and rock me to sleep just so my mind would not race and think too much about the situation. i believe that is exactly what he did too. i became reliant on Him alone. trusting Him… or at least trying my hardest to. 

coming out of the situation, i can see now that this experience may have prepared me to speak to girls who haven’t had boyfriends yet (such as my roommates) or younger girls (of whom i will be working with some this summer) about GUARDING THEIR HEARTS. i don’t want to make them scared to date or trust a man but they do need to know the importance of staying in the Word and around people who will hold them accountable and call them out when they start to stray from what they once believed and knew to be true. they also need to know the importance of relying on God alone. for their identity, worth, and direction in the relationship. 

this is where i get

real vulnerable. time to lay it all down & be completely honest with myself and you. 

i’ve started this new devotional that i would recommend to anyone. it’s called “God’s Love Letters to You”. It starts with talking about speaking life words to people instead of death words. some times the hard truth that is spoken by those who care about us are life words that seem the opposite but in the end they are used to edify us into the person that we really want to be. 

here are highlights from today: 

I want you to realize that I never underestimated how thoroughly you’d mess up your life or how painfully you would struggle and siffer, and I don’t want you to underestimate your failures or struggles either. They’re all part of the story I’m telling

…they’re all a part of His great story that He is writing me in to. my pain is not in vain. 

But neither have I underestimated My determination or ability to enter both the mess you’ve made and the pain you feel, and turn everything around. I can, and I will, make everything good again. Never, ever underestimate me. I have a plan, a very good one, and it will move ahead to completion…I love you in the middle of your pain even though I don’t relieve it as quickly as you wish.

Nothing will ever stop Him from carrying His work into completion. nothing. 

what hope, huh? 

though the trials

may be long and tiresome, and it may feel like there is no where to go but up, there is always ALWAYS a purpose for them. always.

i was interviewed for a summer internship at long hollow this morning and somehow ended up talking about the past year of my life and how i’ve grown from it. yes, i’m talking about the big break up with the man of whom i thought i was going to carry the same last name. how we got on this topic, i’m not sure. it came out when i was sharing my testimony. 

see, i don’t believe that a testimony is a specific time and place but rather a journey that keeps going. my testimony did not end in second grade when i got saved but rather, is forming new chapters even now. my experience at long hollow is another chapter in my testimony. it is yet another part of my story that god is working and showing himself. 

the director of the creative part of treehouse, robyn, talked a little about a past relationship that she had in college. listening to her, i noticed that our situations were strangely similar. i shared that i was worried about looking back when i’m old and gray and wondering what could have been. she told me that i needed to think about the things that happened in the relationship that i would be fine with in marriage and that some times good is not god’s best for us. 

it would not be okay in marriage for my husband to email one of my friends for the sole reason to flirt and talk dirty. not okay. it would not be okay for my husband to skip church every sunday because he was tired. 

as soon as i got home all i wanted to do was read my devotional and the bible. so i did. the lesson? james 1:3-4. the testing of our faith produces perseverance and with perseverance comes protection, provision, and the process. “

protection: “i might not be able to see the blessing right now, but this trial may be a protection-shielding me from something in the future that i may not see.”

provision: God  is providing me with many things i never expected to come from a trial. stronger friendships. finding who i really am and what i do or don’t want/need in a partner. more alone time with my maker… it’s refreshing. 

process: “god loves me the way i am, but he loves me too much to leave me stuck in a place of defeat.” he lifted me out of the deep, dark pit of self-pity & wondering why i wasn’t good enough and taught me so much through this process of letting go and letting god. i’ve grown exponentially closer to god. that’s always a good thing. 

so, yes. trials do have purpose. we may not see them now but one day we will look back and it will be much, much clearer. the father is only trying to take care of his own. he knows what he’s doing. i’ve just got to trust.

i dare you,

dear soul of mine, to notice the stark evidence of a spirit that is tainted and a heart that must be placed under the microscope of god’s word. yes, indeed, unsettle me, lord. 

unearth the remnant of justification.

shake loose that pull toward compromise.

reveal that broken shard of secrecy.

expose that tendency to give up.

unsettle me in the best kind of way. for when i allow your touch to reach the deepest parts of me-dark and dingy and hidden away too long- suddenly, a fresh wind of life twists and twirls and dances through my soul. 

…i can rest assured though the journey will be hard, i will be held.

Lysa Terkeurst

some key things

that i took away from this article: 

By dating or playing around with the wrong men, we are essentially displaying mistrust in God’s plan and harming ourselves when the right man comes along.

“Become the right person the right person is looking for.”

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/A8Q3x6/blog.christianitytoday.com/women/2012/01/real_women_dont_text_back_how.html